


Some Boys Don't Know How To Love

by akisazame



Category: Persona 3, Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mythology References, protagshipping week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 09:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6368602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akisazame/pseuds/akisazame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Please, Souji-kun! We live in the same dorm! I promise it's okay if you call me Yukari." Minato didn't have to see Yukari's face to know she was smiling gently at Seta. She'd smiled at Minato like that, when they'd first met.</p><p>Seta's reflection flushed more deeply and sank down into his seat, his chin disappearing behind the edge of his school bag. "Yukari-senpai," he said, like he was trying it on. He smiled after, one of the smallest smiles Minato had ever seen. It could win a competition. World's Smallest Smile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Boys Don't Know How To Love

**Author's Note:**

> _Athazagoraphobia (noun) – the fear of forgetting, being forgotten or ignored, or being replaced_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> for [protagshipping week](http://protagshippingweek.tumblr.com/)

It wasn't that Minato didn't like the new first year transfer student. It wasn't that. Not at all. Not even remotely.

"How are you enjoying Gekkoukan so far, Souji-kun?" Yukari asked, leaning forward in her seat.

Seta was sitting across from them on the train, school bag perched on his lap; he flushed a little when Yukari spoke to him. Minato suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. "Um, I like it so far. Ms. Toriumi has been very nice to me."

"She does that," Minato said, turning away to gaze out the window even as he said it. Disinterested in Seta even as he was speaking to him. He propped his elbow on the back of the empty seat beside him, then rested his chin on it. "I think she likes transfer students best. Thinks she's rescuing them."

"Minato, don't be rude," Yukari said, poking Minato in his other arm, the one that was lying free next to her. Minato didn't even flinch. Yukari's pokes and flicks and slaps and punches had long ago ceased to hurt, even when she meant them to. "Don't mind him, Souji-kun. He's grumpy in the morning. Better to talk to him after he's slept through our first class."

"I do not," Minato muttered into his arm, "sleep through class."

"Much," Yukari said, poking him again, more playful this time.

Minato heard a small cough from across the aisle. He could still see Seta in the window's reflection, his fist covering his mouth, crinkles at the edges of his eyes. A cough to cover a laugh. "You've been very nice to me too, Takeba-senpai."

"Please, Souji-kun! We live in the same dorm! I promise it's okay if you call me Yukari." Minato didn't have to see Yukari's face to know she was smiling gently at Seta. She'd smiled at Minato like that, when they'd first met.

Seta's reflection flushed more deeply and sank down into his seat, his chin disappearing behind the edge of his school bag. "Yukari-senpai," he said, like he was trying it on. He smiled after, one of the smallest smiles Minato had ever seen. It could win a competition. World's Smallest Smile.

It wasn't that Minato didn't like Seta. And he certainly wasn't jealous.

\--

Souji Seta, Mitsuru had explained, should have been a third year in middle school based on his age, but he had been enrolled in elementary a year early due to his parents' urging. Whether this was because Seta was exceptionally smart or because his parents had needed to board him somewhere while they were away on an extended business trip, Mitsuru had not been able to determine. "He _is_ quite smart," she'd said, looking very proud of this fact for some reason, "but of course that is not the reason he is staying in this dormitory."

"So he has the potential," Akihiko had said, sitting up a little straighter in his chair, obviously excited. It was 11:30, nearly the Dark Hour, and they were all gathered around the table in the meeting room before heading off to Tartarus. It'd been a week since their last visit to the tower, and Akihiko was noticeably anxious. Minato, sitting next to him, could practically feel the adrenaline radiating.

"He has the potential," Mitsuru confirmed, and everyone the table buzzed approvingly.

Everyone except Minato. "He's just a kid," he said. He wasn't looking at anyone, his eyes on a fixed point somewhere near the middle of the table, but he could feel the way they all turned to look at him. "We don't need another kid."

Minato heard the aborted squeak of Ken's protest before Mitsuru spoke over him. "What we don't need is another incident where someone with the potential wanders into Tartarus. We don't need incidents of any kind. Our only option is to control as many factors as possible. He doesn't necessarily have to fight with us."

"We should get going," Minato said, pushing his chair back forcefully from the table. He didn't know why this bothered him so much. It just did. "I want to get to the next barrier tonight."

No one said anything as he stormed out of the meeting room, but he could feel each pair of eyes boring into the back of his skull.

Later, after they'd run themselves ragged in Tartarus, Mitsuru had gently touched Minato's elbow on his way out the door, pulling him to a stop. "I meant what I said," she murmured, only loud enough for Minato to hear. The rest of the group kept going, down the street in the direction of the dorm. It was just the two of them left in Tartarus's lobby. "He doesn't have to fight."

"Like how Amada didn't have to fight?" He didn't turn to look at her, instead staring straight ahead, watching the retreating backs of the rest of SEES. He hadn't made eye contact with anyone all night.

"Amada wanted to," Mitsuru said firmly.

Minato dislodged his elbow from Mitsuru's grip. "I'm sure you'll say that about Seta, too."

\--

The roof of the school was still summer-warm despite the looming clouds and the light fall breeze. Junpei had picked the sunniest spot, right near the center; he and Minato were sitting almost shoulder-to-shoulder, eating the surprisingly palatable rice balls Fuuka had made for them the night before.

"Hey!" Junpei shouted. The sudden sound made Minato jump. "Souji-kun! Over here!"

Seta turned to look at them, clearly startled. Both of his hands were gripping the strap of his school bag. "I-Iori-senpai, Arisato-senpai, hello." He nodded at each of them in turn, then began to walk away.

"Come sit with us!" Junpei said, exactly as Minato had hoped he wouldn't.

Seta blinked owlishly, then picked his way around the clumps of other students to sit beside Junpei. "Thank you, senpai," he said. The World's Smallest Smile was on his face again. Minato looked pointedly at his rice ball as Seta took a plastic bento box out of his bag, arranging it neatly on his lap.

Junpei gave an impressed whistle. "Damn, Souji-kun, holding out the good stuff on us? Did you make this yourself?"

Minato glanced at Seta out of the corner of his eye, just long enough to see the elaborate contents of Seta's bento box. He also caught the way Seta was blushing. The kid was always blushing about something, as though simply being spoken to was embarrassing. "I've always packed my own lunch," Seta said, soft and almost shy. "The dorm has a very nice kitchen. Aragaki-senpai and Yamagishi-senpai have been very helpful."

Minato felt a flare of something at Seta's mention of Shinjiro and Fuuka. It certainly wasn't jealousy. He tamped it down.

"I knew someone else had a hand in these rice balls," Junpei said, waving his around like a flag of surrender. Minato looked completely away, off into the distance; he could see Kenji on the far end of the roof, hanging around Iwasaki-san despite her clear disinterest in whatever he was saying. Minato understood how Iwasaki-san felt, in more ways than one.

"Aragaki-senpai did most of it." Seta was barely audible now. "I just helped with the filling."

"That's the best part!" Junpei exclaimed. Minato could picture the wide grin on his face, could feel the vibration when he used his free hand to clap Seta on the back goodnaturedly. Seta murmured some incoherent expression of thanks. Minato shoved the last bite of his rice ball into his mouth, then stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. "What's up, dude?" Junpei called after him.

"Got an art club thing," Minato lied. He took the stairs two at a time, not looking back.

\--

No one stayed behind on the nights that SEES went to Tartarus; even if someone was too sick to be among the group actually exploring the tower, they still came and stayed behind in the lobby. This had been a rule that Minato had instituted with Mitsuru's approval, simply because it was easier to coordinate one group of people than two. If one person stayed behind, then another would have to stay as a bodyguard, and that wasn't the kind of logistical nightmare that Minato wanted to deal with. So they all went together, and no one other than Junpei had ever complained about it.

The rule had never been a problem, in Minato's eyes, until Seta came to stay with them. Mitsuru had said that Seta didn't have to fight unless he wanted to, but so long as he was obligated to follow them to Tartarus, it felt inevitable. Chekhov's Evoker. Seta had come with them three times so far, and each time Minato had stubbornly chosen every possible companion besides Seta. For his part, Seta didn't seem to mind; after the second trip, he'd started bringing textbooks to read while he waited.

"When're you gonna start bringing the new kid?" Akihiko asked casually as they were scaling a set of stairs. He was punching a fist into his palm, still keyed up from their last Shadow fight. "He's so quiet, but I bet he's secretly a monster."

Minato cautiously leaned around the corner at the top of the stairs, checking for a possible ambush. Fuuka would have warned him of one, of course, but it never hurt to be too careful. "When he wants to," Minato said. Nevermind that he'd never asked Seta about it. Nevermind that he'd probably refuse even if Seta did ask.

"I've had him properly outfitted in the meantime," Mitsuru said. "He requested a two-handed sword, like Junpei's. Apparently he practiced kendo at his last school."

Shinjiro made a scoffing noise. "What's with these little kids and their huge fuckin' weapons?" Minato chose not to make a comment about the size of the axe strapped to Shinjiro's back.

Their conversation paused as they made their way forward on the new floor, splitting into twos to check each end of the hallway. Akihiko went with Minato, letting Minato take point. After a minute, Akihiko spoke. "I guess I just don't get when you're so keen on protecting him."

Minato bit the inside of his cheek. "I'm keen on protecting everyone."

"But why him specifically? Ken's younger, and you brought him with us two days ago, so it's not an age thing." Akihiko paused, both his mouth and his feet; Minato stopped too, but didn't turn to look at Akihiko, instead keeping his eyes fixed on the indistinct forms in the distance. Sometimes it was hard to tell a shadow from a Shadow until it was too late. "Is it because he hasn't summoned his Persona yet? Because you know the best way to do that is--"

"Stop," Minato snapped, and Akihiko tensed up instantly, taking a step forward, fists ready. He thought a Shadow was coming, Minato realized. "No, I mean... stop talking. Stop trying to guess my motivations. It's annoying."

"Sorry." Akihiko went back to intermittently punching his palm while Minato silently scanned the hallway. The sound of glove against glove echoed in the silence. Eventually they reached a dead end; their path had been completely deserted, not a proper-noun-Shadow to be found. They turned around, reversing their positions, Akihiko on point now. "He was practicing forms last night," Akihiko said suddenly, like he'd been struggling to hold the information back.

"Was he," Minato said. Flat. Emotionless, probably.

"He and Ken were up on the roof." Akihiko stopped walking, turning around completely to level a cool gaze at Minato. "Seta's good. I don't think you're being fair."

Minato took a step forward, challenging. He adjusted his grip on his sword. "I don't think I asked you."

 _"Minato-san, Akihiko-senpai, can you hear me?"_ Fuuka's voice cut through the tension, and both Minato and Akihiko took a step back from one another. _"You need to find an access point and come back, as soon as you can! We've got trouble down here!"_

Akihiko and Minato shared a look, then started running down the hall. "There was an access point on the last floor," Minato said, "right before the stairs."

"Wait for Mitsuru and Shinji," Akihiko called over his shoulder. Minato nodded, even though he knew Akihiko couldn't see him. They stopped together at the landing of the stairs, Akihiko hopping impatiently from foot to foot. Shinjiro and Mitsuru came around the corner only moments later; Mitsuru still had Shadow ichor on her rapier, but Minato didn't ask about it. Whatever was going on downstairs was more pressing.

But by the time the four of them appeared on the ground floor of Tartarus, whatever had happened was already concluded. Junpei was sprawled on the floor, his sword lying beside him; Yukari was crouched over him, Io hovering above as she cast a healing spell on Junpei's arm. Ken was sitting on the floor, near the Velvet Room door that only Minato could see, one arm wrapped around Koromaru. Aigis and Fuuka were standing next to an irregular arrangement of black smudges on the floor, which Minato could only assume had once been Shadows.

And there, in the midst of all those black smudges, was Seta, Evoker clutched in both hands.

"Is everyone alright?" Mitsuru shouted, running towards where Yukari was tending to Junpei. "Any serious injuries?"

"Just Stupei," Yukari said, far more flippant than Minato had expected. "He ran right in, Evoker blazing, like always."

"Does _every_ Shadow have to use wind spells?" Junpei moaned from the floor. "It's like they have it out for me!"

Minato turned to Aigis and Fuuka instead. "What happened here? There've never been Shadows in the lobby before."

"I don't know what happened," Fuuka said, an edge of panic still in her voice. "Somehow they came through under the door."

"The Shadows were initially in a mostly liquid form," Aigis added, nodding up towards the golden clock-shaped door that led to the lowest levels of the tower. "There is a gap beneath the door of approximately point five seven centimeters. While liquid, the Shadows were easily able to pass through."

"They were all very weak," Fuuka said, "but there were a lot of them. I detected at least twenty once they fully materialized here in the lobby. Junpei attacked them first, before the rest of us could form a battle plan."

"And then the wind spell," Minato said, glancing over at where Junpei was still loudly complaining on the floor.

"Affirmative," said Aigis.

"That was when I contacted you. But then Souji-kun..." Fuuka trailed off, turning to look at Seta. "We didn't even see him get up. And his Persona was so beautiful..."

Minato had heard enough. He walked over to where Seta was still standing; once he got close enough, he realized that Seta was trembling all over, obviously in shock. Seta was tall enough that Minato didn't need to crouch, but he got down on one knee anyway. "Hey," he said, looking up into Seta's glazed eyes. When Seta didn't respond, Minato reached out and touched Seta's hand, knuckles white from gripping the Evoker.

Seta blinked at that, his eyes focusing and then refocusing on Minato's face. All at once, he dropped to the floor, all the adrenaline leaking away, the Evoker falling free and clattering on the tile. He slumped forward, and Minato moved without thinking, gathering Seta's body in his arms.

"I did it, Arisato-senpai." Minato could feel the hot breath of Seta's words against his neck. "My Persona... Eurydice..."

\--

"Eurydice," Elizabeth said, tapping one finger to her temple. "Eurydice, Eurydice... you're-y dice-y... I tried to teach my master a dice game once. Would you like to play a round?"

"Just tell me," Minato said, flicking Seiryuu to the forefront of his mind, "about Eurydice."

"Touchy." Elizabeth opened the compendium on the table in front of her, flipping through pages almost idly, poking out her cheek with her tongue and humming. Igor simply watched all of this play out, utterly silent. "How odd. I don't seem to have a page for you're-y dice-y, but I know I've seen that name before. Let me start again from the beginning... wait! Here's you're-y dice-y! At the beginning!" Elizabeth picked up the book and held it in front of her, pages facing Minato.

Minato leaned in, scoffed, then leaned back. "That's Orpheus. He's my Persona."

"Not the picture," Elizabeth said, fingers impatiently tapping the right hand page, where the writing was.

Minato leaned in again, squinting at the text. "'A poet of Greek mythology skilled with the lyre. He tried to retrieve his wife, Eurydice...'" He broke off to look up at Elizabeth's beaming face. "That's ridiculous."

"You may call it ridiculous if you like," Igor said. Minato could swear he sounded amused. "The cards always reveal one's true self."

"Is that so?" Minato shot back. He didn't know why this was irritating him so much, but it was. "And to which Arcana does Eurydice belong?"

"Is that not obvious?" Igor smiled, his whole face curling with it, a cheshire grin. "The Fool, of course."

\--

They didn't go to Tartarus for a week after that. As the days went on, each member of SEES managed to confront Minato about it, citing the need to train or the imminence of the next full moon or both, but Minato kept making excuses, ranging from innocuous half-truths to extravagant outright lies.

He had a feeling that everyone understood the unspoken truth: Minato didn't want to take Seta back to Tartarus.

The knock on his dorm room door was Mitsuru; Minato could tell just from the sound of it, two quick taps, short and perfunctory. She'd already confronted him about Tartarus in the common room earlier that evening, but he was no stranger to how stubborn Mitsuru could be if she believed enough in something. Even so, he was tired of arguing. Tired of dealing with anything, if he was honest. "Go away," he called into his pillow.

"Arisato," Mitsuru said, her voice only slightly muffled through the door. "I'd prefer not to speak to you through the door, but I will if I must."

Minato sat up on the bed, pulling the pillow into his lap and burying his fists into it. "You must."

There was a long pause. "We're going to Tartarus tonight. With or without you."

The statement was so unexpected, so unfathomable, that Minato wasn't able to immediately comprehend it. "What?"

"The next full moon is in two days," Mitsuru said, a little softer but still authoritatively. "We haven't yet reached the next barrier in the tower. We're insufficiently prepared for whatever might happen next. If you refuse to lead us into Tartarus, we'll be forced to take alternate measures."

"It's too dangerous." Minato's head was buzzing. He unclenched his fists, then dug his fingers into the soft down of the pillow. No matter which four members of SEES he chose, there was always a glaring weak point. Without his own power of the wild card, the group exploring the tower would lack a solid foundation. "Who would replace me as leader? You?"

Another pause. "Actually," Mitsuru said, voice softer still, "Seta volunteered."

"Seta?" For once, Minato couldn't keep the emotion out of his voice. "He summoned his Persona _once_. He killed two dozen weak Shadows, and now he wants to be the leader?" Minato's hands were shaking, fingernails scraping against the pillowcase. "Lying doesn't suit you, Mitsuru-senpai."

"She's not lying." Another voice, soft and shy. Seta.

For a moment, everything seemed to stop. Minato held his breath.

"M-may I come in, Arisato-senpai?"

Minato threw the pillow across the room, disgusted with himself. "Just you. Mitsuru-senpai stays."

There was some quiet muttering outside the door; Mitsuru was probably arguing. After a few moments, the knob turned and Seta slipped in. Mitsuru's boots clicked loudly in the hallway as she left.

Seta was nearly the same size as Minato, but he looked very small standing in Minato's room. His grey eyes darted around, taking everything in; he'd never so much as peeked in before. Finally, almost reluctantly, his gaze settled on Minato, still sitting on his bed. "Thank you, senpai."

Minato snorted, blowing air up into his bangs. He crossed his arms, trying to mask the fact that he was still twitchy with anger. "What kind of kid says thank you after being insulted?"

"I meant for letting me in." Seta bit his lip and looked away, towards the window. He was blushing again. Sometimes it seemed like he never stopped. "I didn't mean to make you mad. B-but... Kirijo-senpai is right. We're not going to make any progress against the Shadows if we don't go to Tartarus. So I thought--"

"You thought wrong," Minato interrupted. Seta flinched, then blushed more deeply, eyes still on the window. "I don't know what Mitsuru-senpai said to you. Not just now, and not when you first came here. But you need to know that she doesn't always tell the whole truth."

Seta blinked twice, then turned his head back towards Minato. His grey eyes were piercing, like jagged stone. "Neither do you."

For a moment, all Minato could do was stare at Seta. Then, in the next moment, the world twisted and warped, the moonlight tinting green as the Dark Hour began.

With a great effort, Minato forced himself to smile. Seta's face disarmed; the tension in the room snapped like a bowstring. "Guess you're not going to Tartarus after all."

The World's Smallest Smile. A cough to hide a laugh. "Guess not."

Minato unfolded his arms and patted the bed beside him. Seta -- _Souji_ , Minato thought, with some effort -- blinked in surprise, then came to sit. Minato had to fight an impulse to put his arm around Souji's shoulders, wasn't sure why he had that impulse in the first place. He placed both palms flat on the bed instead, leaning back slightly, watching the ceiling instead of Souji's ridiculously red face. "Why did you tell her you'd do it?"

"Do what?"

"Lead SEES into Tartarus. Join SEES at all. Any of it."

The quiet of the Dark Hour was almost suffocating in its totality. Minato counted each of his breaths in the ensuing silence, was aware of each of Souji's, noticed each time that their breathing matched and tried to correct for it. Finally, he turned his head back to Souji, who was sitting very still, hands clasped tightly together in his lap, gaze fixed on the floor. "I don't know," he said. He somehow sounded both very young and very old.

"She told me you wouldn't have to fight," Minato said. It sounded terrible when he said it out loud. Petulant. "But she can be... manipulative."

"It wasn't because of her," Souji said, the words coming out fast, like he couldn't hold them back. He almost looked surprised at himself afterwards. He separated his hands, placing one palm flat on each of his legs, then turned to meet Minato's gaze. His face was confident, but his voice trembled. "I wanted to impress you, Arisato-senpai."

The idea was so laughable that Minato very nearly laughed. He might have, if Souji hadn't been looking at him, eyes wide and vulnerable. Instead, Minato said, "Why?"

Souji blushed, glanced away, then seemed to find his courage again and brought his eyes back to Minato's. "You don't remember? Ten years ago... we used to play together, at the park near your school. Then, all of a sudden, you moved away."

"Sorry," Minato muttered. "I don't really remember a whole lot from before the accident."

"Oh." Souji glanced down again. It was like his eyes couldn't stay still. All of his fidgeting was immensely distracting. "You were the only kid who would talk to me. Pretty much my best friend. It's not something I'm very good at. Making friends, I mean."

Minato thought about all the members of SEES, Yukari and Junpei and Ken and everyone else, and how quickly they'd taken to Souji. How much they seemed to genuinely like him, and how much that had annoyed Minato. He'd known that how ridiculous it was to be jealous, but hadn't been able to stop. "Don't be stupid. You have tons of friends, just here in this dorm."

He expected Souji to blush at the compliment, but he didn't. Instead he just rubbed his hands against his leg nervously. "But you hate me."

Minato nearly asked why it mattered, but he swallowed those words back down. It was suddenly glaringly obvious. He'd been so distracted by the way everyone else treated Souji that he hadn't noticed the way Souji treated him. Every blush, every World's Smallest Smile, they'd all been for Minato.

Something about the eerie green of the Dark Hour made Minato himself feel slightly unreal. He reached over and put his hand on top of Souji's, weaving their fingers together.

"I don't hate you," Minato said.

Souji looked up, eyes wide. "You kept ignoring me," he whispered, "or you'd leave when I came in the room. And all those things you said to Kirijo-senpai... you said I was weak..."

"I said the Shadows were weak." He knew the clarification meant nothing; the implication still remained. He could feel Souji's hand trembling beneath his own, so he pressed down, just a little. "You were really brave."

Souji's whole face flushed, his body shrinking into itself. "Really?"

This time, Minato's smile came naturally. "Yeah. I wish I could've seen it."

The movement was sudden, forceful and steady, like a river breaking a dam. Souji pivoted on the bed, one leg coming over so he was straddling Minato's hips. His hand twisted so his palm was against Minato's, then he twined their fingers back together, his grip vice-like. His other arm came to curl around Minato's neck, pulling their bodies together. Souji's face tucked in against Minato's neck; Minato could feel Souji's eyelashes flutter against his own skin.

"I missed you," Souji breathed into the collar of Minato's shirt. "So much. Every day."

Minato brought his free hand up to rest in the middle of Souji's back. He felt awkward, out of place. Insufficient. This person he didn't remember had idolized a person he no longer was. Or maybe he was still the same person; he had no frame of reference. He felt when Souji began crying, the first tear trapped between their skin. "I'm sorry," Minato said, and it was both what he meant to say and what he didn't.

Souji didn't say anything. Instead he just tightened his grip and let out a long shuddering breath.

They stayed that way for a very long time, in the absolute silence. Eventually, Minato rested his cheek against Souji's hair and closed his eyes.

\--

The Velvet Room, but also not the Velvet Room. The scenery was correct, table and sofa and carpet, everything swathed in blue, but the smaller details were wrong. The clock's hands were moving backwards. The elevator was moving in the opposite direction.

It was not Igor seated on the sofa, but Pharos.

"Welcome," Pharos said, then smiled.

"You don't belong here," Minato said. He'd never seen Pharos anywhere that wasn't the dorm before. Seeing him here made Minato especially uneasy.

"I belong here more than some." Pharos hummed, kicking his feet against the base of the sofa. His eyes were so blue that it almost hurt to look at them. "Memory is funny, isn't it? One person forgets, but another remembers, and it hurts them both. If only we all shared just one mind, then no one would have to forget. No one would have to suffer."

Minato clenched his fists, fingernails digging into his palms. "I didn't mean to forget."

"No one does." With one last kick of his feet, Pharos swung his legs to the floor, then circled the table to stand in front of Minato, taking hold of both of Minato's wrists. "Do you want to remember?"

All at once, Minato felt dizzy, aching with desperation. He'd never wanted something so much in all his life. Not that he could remember, anyway. "I want to remember."

"You should be careful," Pharos said. He slid his hands down, prying Minato's fists open with his fingers, then twined their fingers together. "Sometimes remembering makes you feel worse." Pharos closed his eyes, and Minato closed his too.

The memory felt like a dream, even though Minato knew he had already been dreaming. A dream within a dream, except in this dream he was watching himself from the outside. He was in a park, not unlike the one at Naganaki Shrine; there was a jungle gym, a set of swings, a sandbox, a park bench, all covered by a canopy of maple trees. The Minato that Minato was watching appeared to be about six years old, and he was sitting at the very top of the jungle gym, a Red Hawk figure in his hand. He was holding the figure high in the air, as far as he could reach. On the ground beneath him, there was a smaller grey-haired boy, wailing at the top of his lungs. Souji.

"Give him back!" Souji cried. His voice cracked and hiccupped; Minato must have been tormenting him for some time.

"Come and get him," Minato said, taunting, "or say the magic word."

"I don't _know_ the magic word!" Souji wiped one dirty hand across his face, leaving a dark smudge across the bridge of his nose. "And Mom says I'm not s'posed to climb the jungle gym."

Minato waved the action figure back and forth. "Do you do everything your mom tells you?"

Souji's tiny mouth opened, then closed. His forehead scrunched up in thought. Then, apparently making up his mind, he stepped forward and grabbed hold of the bars and put his right foot tentatively on the lowest rung.

From atop his playground pedestal, Minato made a show of yawning as Souji made his slow way up the bars. "You don't have all day," he said, leaning over so that the action figure was directly over Souji's head. "Red Hawk is in danger."

Souji's mouth flattened into a line, then he began climbing again, faster, more determined. It only took him another minute to reach the top of the jungle gym, where Minato continued to hold the Red Hawk figure just out of reach. Souji let go of the bar with one hand to reach for it; at the same time, one of his feet slipped, and he began to fall.

There was a flash of movement, almost too quick to track; Minato flung himself across the top of the jungle gym, grabbing Souji's upper arm with his free hand and wrapping his other arm around Souji's waist, then hauled Souji up onto the top level of the jungle gym. Souji let out a shuddering breath, then threw his arms around Minato's neck.

"You saved me," Souji whispered. Awestruck.

"Whatever," Minato said, rolling his eyes. He shrugged off Souji's hug, and while Souji was quick to let go, he kept his gaze firmly fixed on Minato's face, eyes glittering like he was staring at the sun. Minato held the Red Hawk figure just out of Souji's reach, then snatched it away when Souji reached for it. "You still gotta say the magic word."

Minato's eyes shot open. Pharos was watching him, smiling. "Don't fuck with me," Minato said, low in his throat. He shoved Pharos's hands away and took a step back. "Souji said we were best friends. Best friends don't..." He didn't know how to end that sentence and decided he didn't want to. "That didn't happen. You made it up."

Pharos rocked up on the balls of his feet. "Who's to say?"

\--

When Minato woke, it was morning, and he was alone. He might have thought it had all been a dream, if not for the visceral memories of Souji's sweat-damp palm, his tears tracing down Minato's neck, the scent of his hair.

Minato had no recollection of the Dark Hour ending, or anything that had happened after. He didn't know if he'd gotten into his bed himself, or if Souji had put him there. He wondered how long Souji had stayed, if he'd stayed at all.

It was late, but it was also Sunday, so there wasn't anything to be late for. Minato spent several minutes just lying on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying the events of last night in his mind. Committing them to memory. After everything Minato had forgotten, he owed Souji at least that much.

The dream of the Velvet Room returned to him in a rush, and he sat up quickly to keep from choking on the bile that rose in his throat. In the dream, he'd been convinced that the memory Pharos had shown him was false, but here in the light of day, he was no longer so sure. There was only one person who could tell him for certain.

Minato took the steps up to the third floor two at a time; it was ostensibly the girls' floor, but there hadn't been a spare room on the boys' floor, and all the girls had agreed that they didn't mind Souji staying with them. He was breathless by the time he reached the room at the end of the hall, and nearly tried the knob before remembering himself and knocking instead.

No one answered. Minato knocked again. Then, when there was no response, he tried the knob, which was unlocked.

When he opened the door, the room was empty. There wasn't even a bed inside.

"Geez, Minato, what's gotten into you?" Yukari, from somewhere behind him. His knocking must have drawn her out.

Minato turned on her. His heart was thundering in his chest. "Where's Sou-- Seta?"

Yukari blinked, face blank. Across the hall, Fuuka peeked her head out of her own door. "Who are you talking about?"

"Souji Seta!" Yukari stepped back, startled; Minato almost never raised his voice, or showed much in the way of emotion at all. "He's a first year and he moved in a month ago! He joined SEES! He killed over twenty Shadows at once!" Minato couldn't catch his breath. His eyes stung. He shifted his gaze to Fuuka, standing motionless in her doorway. "He helped you make rice balls!"

"Shinjiro-senpai helped me make rice balls," Fuuka said, her voice very small. "Minato-kun, are you okay? Maybe you should rest. The full moon will be here soon..."

Minato slammed the door to what should have been Souji's room. _Had_ been Souji's room. "I'll find him myself," he muttered, shouldering Yukari aside as he passed. She made a squeak of protest, and Fuuka called after him, but he ignored them both.

He checked every nook and cranny of the dorm first. None of the other residents were at home, so there was no one else he could question. It seemed ridiculous that Yukari and Fuuka would play this sort of trick on him, but it seemed even more ridiculous that they would have no recollection of Souji at all. After the dorm, he went to Iwatodai Station, then took the train to Port Island. He realized he'd never gone anywhere in particular with Souji, and therefore had no idea where he might be.

He ended up at Paulownia Mall, standing in front of the Velvet Room door.

\--

"'A poet of Greek mythology skilled with the lyre,'" Elizabeth read, her voice lilting. "'He tried to retrieve his wife, Eurydice, from Hades, but she vanished when he looked back before reaching the surface.'" She closed the Compendium and hugged it to her chest, making an exaggerated sniffling noise. "Oh! Such a story! My eyes are leaking!"

"That's all it says about Eurydice?" Minato asked. His throat felt puffy from the tears he was holding back. Frustrated tears, he told himself, not mournful ones.

"That is all that is written of Orpheus," Igor said, not unkindly. "Eurydice, as you well know, does not exist within the pages of this book."

Minato thought about Fuuka, awed by the beauty of Souji's Persona. He'd never had the chance to see it for himself. "That doesn't mean she wasn't real," Minato said, sounding petulant to his own ears.

"Who's to say?" Igor said, and Minato flinched, remembering Pharos. His eyes flicked to the clock, which was running forwards, as it should be. "The human mind is a marvellous thing. With every bond we form, the mind creates a vast catalog of memories. Some are happy, some are sad. But the human mind is also fallible, and memories can be altered, lost, or even created from nothingness." Igor paused to fan his tarot cards across the table, then picked one and turned it over. The Star, reversed. "But you must remember that within your memories, within your mind, there exist infinite possibilities." He turned over another card. The Fool. "The bonds between people are just as fallible as those catalogs of memories. True or false, good or evil... what matters most is the trust people have in one another." One last card, drawn and turned.

Death.

"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,'" Elizabeth said. She sighed dreamily. "I read that once. In a cookbook, I think. Would you like to cook a Persona with me? Baking always makes me feel better."

Minato nearly laughed in spite of himself, but he covered it with a cough. He thought about Souji and his immaculately packed bento box. The World's Smallest Smile. After a great deal of discussion, he combined Orthrus and Nata Taishi to make Lachesis.


End file.
